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Umngazi 2011/2012 Holiday

So my Holiday has come to an end – and what an amazing one it has been, I am feeling relaxed, energized and ready for 2012!

I’m not sure how I am going to keep this post short because I had such an amazing time 🙂

Coming home every year to my parents is amazing – although I am not sure how much longer I will be able to come for a full three weeks every year, maybe 1 week at home and 2 weeks overseas? 🙂

I arrived home on the 18th December after my Mom’s Bday from East London (I hate that place – it is backwards and just plain sif; but that is a completely different story on its own!)

Someone call cow spotter... Lame! haha

The weather was great most of the holiday!

My two little sisters were absolutely ecstatic to see me again (yes they are indeed recognised as my sisters), we have had Picasso and Black Patch since we lived in Zimbabwe and they are gorgeous with two insanely awesome personalities! My CharlieC wouldn’t know what to do around them.

Two little brat sisters!

Unpacked and as white as a sheet I was ready to get my Holiday at Umngazi started!

My 1st couple of days I spent getting pampered at the Umngazi Spa – Mani, Pedi & Facial, which I also visited a few times again during the hol, let’s just be serious there are tons of colours one can paint their nails and I needed to have another facial before I went back to Jozi 🙂

Brightest colours I could find!

The first day I managed to get the beach, BLISS – the water and the sand was amazing! Now this story does not stop here, I started tanning and after a few minutes was no longer the only one on the beach – a Jesus like looking man and his ‘people’ joined me; they looked like typical Port St Johns specials, let me explain “Port St Johns specials” – this little ‘town’ in the Transkei is probably known as the biggest and best weed capital in SA and it is full of crazy little bars/shabeens that are called things like Jungle Monkey & Amapondo that have pot heads with dread locks sitting around openly rolling joints on the counters – I once just about ran screaming out Amapondo from the very sight… Anyway I am drifting – back to the beach 🙂

But first here are my fellow beach jollers 😉

'Jesus' leading his 'people' haha

I eventually fell asleep after being scarred for life by the “Port St Johns specials”’and their naked children that were frolicking in the water close to me. FAST ASLEEP! I was tanning on my stomach which meant I had undone the back straps of my bikini – what did I wake up to?

*MOOOOOOOOOO* Right in front of me stood a fat ass cow, I couldn’t even jump up I just lay there shouting; I am even chuckling right now as I think about the experience… Cow’s on the Transkei beach are a reality and I think it’s pretty cool even when they nearly very well give you heart failure 🙂

Death by this cow!

Of course my lily white ass got sunburnt so I got to enjoy a stunning spa bath up at the Spa with it’s breathtaking view… I went at least 4 times during the holi!

Umngazi Spa - Bliss!!

Every Saturday night there is a full on Seafood buffet at Umngazi, however since Saturday was Christmas eve dinner it was moved to the Friday and my parents were on duty so we went down for Seafood (prawns, langoustines, crayfish, mussels, fish and all sorts of other yummies! It also includes a full buffet of roasts and veggies etc. for those that don’t eat seafood and dessert… the food in this place never finishes) along with Seafood night comes the Pondo traditional dancing – what did my mom decide to do to me? She arranged that the dancers come to the table to make me dance with them FML – all I have to say is me and my blushing! It was great fun though 🙂

The pics are blurry but somewhere in that madness is me… dancing!

I wanted the floor to swallow me on the spot!

Christmas day was awesome and did the usual, worked and helped on Christmas eve in the dining room with 185 + service for dinner, Christmas day opened pressies with the parents and then every year my Dad dresses as Father Christmas and hands out gifts to the Hotel kids and we go give sweets to the local community kids 🙂

My Daddy!

I didn’t drink a lot in 2011, sure there was the occasional party but I never drink enough to get a hangover, I had a total of 2 hangovers in 2011 – one after a Crowne Comedy evening where I think I could have killed myself on red wine and the 2nd was after I won Graduate of the Year at GMs conference which resulted in my “Turning Point” article… Let me get to the point of this drinking paragraph – me myself and I decided to challenge my mummy on a Tuesday by offering her a TEQUILA – BIG MISTAKE! My mom loves Tequila and once she has had 1 she gets going, so my mom, Janine, Michelle and I started the Tequila…

I think I should only have had 1 soup of the day!

We made a song it goes like this (of course it doesn’t even rhyme or make sense but whatever):

1 Tequila’s not enough

2 Tequila we just getting started

3 Tequila is just not an even number

4 Tequila more!

5 Tequila is halfway to 10

And 6 Tequila… it just STOPPED there!

Needless to say I had not drank anything except 1 G&T earlier in the evening so I was feeling 100%, Michelle… went to bed halfway through breakfast the next day, my mom was grinning from ear to ear… she loves the stuff and Janine, well I joined her around the pool to catch a tan 🙂

I took it easy on the Wednesday, because I was damn tired… Come Thursday, I swear I am a sucker for punishment – back at the bar we were, once again drinking Tequila and no it didn’t stop at 6 each, we had managed to recruit another person and between the 5 of us had 13 Tequila’s each – in less that 1 hour, more than 1 bottle was consumed! I even managed to hoist my ass on the bar counter and dance on it, lol – it didn’t stop there I even started bar jumping! Trusting the entertainment manager Steve to catch me in his absolute drunken state, luckily for me he did 🙂

I usually NEVER drink when I go to Umngazi so the other guys & girls my age were absolutely shocked to see the above drinking ‘events’ from me. People were buying me Tequila for days after that!


Yes the next day I was feeling it; I slept it all off and the best cure was food, a coke, A LOT of H2O and Rehidrat 🙂 I have no idea when I can drink Tequila again…

I also chose to take part in the Umngazi Amazing Race ‘challenge’ (I was the oldest person there), one of the parents asked me to take part because her 6 year old son didn’t have a team… after 15 minutes I was the only girl in a team of 7 boys none older than 12… erm! Haha, it was great – except when I nearly drowned swimming across the Umngazi River and carried a 20 litre bottle of H2O around a tennis court! And yes our team came 1st 😉 that’s how I roll.

What else did I manage to get up to filling all the days between? Tanned, swam and walked on the beach 🙂

Tan sessions!

Braai with Parents on the beach, chops, bubbles, watermelon and fresh muscles off the rocks 🙂

Freshly braaied mussels & bubbles on the beach!

New Year’s was EPIC BRU! Haha, Cowboy’s & Indians was the theme and I went as a Cowgirl 🙂 We danced our asses off until 4 15am, this was the 1st year that I never made it till the sun risers beach crowd, but what an epic night!

Great friends were made!

Pretty much chilled, went to the spa and tanned for the remaining part of my holi’ 🙂

Umngazi River Bungalows you beauty, you never disappoint and I recommend this resort to any and everyone; single, engaged, honeymoon, families, friends, wedding venue, there is fun for everyone there. This was definitely a lazy holiday for me, previously I have snorkelled, fished, abseiled down a cliff into a gulley, ski-ed, been on a boat cruise, went horse riding… you get the picture right? Now go there!

Love the Transkei!

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