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Life & Other Things

Archive for the category “Social Media”

Kissing, So Hot Right Now

We all know what a sucker I am for kissing, I have said it before and I will keep saying it. Kissing is probably the sexiest thing out there that two people can do. When I kiss someone it will either make or break whatever is to happen from that point onwards.

I have not been posting a lot of pictures on my kissing page lately, yes I am a slacker, but I post a lot on my Pinterest kissing board. Eat your heart out at these images. Hot.

Now the reason I am actually blogging about this subject today, instead of the usual post on the aforementioned dedicated kissing page is because, have you seen what is happening out there? Kissing is hot, and it’s grabbing people’s attention, about damn time too.

The Lacoste Ad. “The Big Leap”

From your first steps, to your first race.
From your first scream, to your first speech.
From your first heartbeat, to your first kiss.

I mean hello? That is hot!

The video “20 Strangers Kiss for the First Time”

Okay, so now that we have all watched that and gotten a stupid smile on our (my) face/s, how lovely is this? I loved it, from the second I heard about it, until the very last moment of the clip. And yes, I believe it’s actually a clothing ad. and the “strangers” are all actually actors. I do not care, it’s magical. The song also really makes the whole thing, I want to kiss while it’s playing in the background, so if there are any takers out there, I am looking to get French…

And then, whilst paging around on Flipboard, something I do not often do (not often enough) I discovered this song, I am still trying to decide if I actually like the song or if it’s just the kissing in the music video that captured me. Okay, I do actually like the song”, listen to the words. Oh. My. Gawsh. “I only need you to be French with me”.

Shura – Touch

This new girl that is on the block better have her music available on iTunes, soon.

When he leaned over to kiss me for the first time on his couch I thought my mind was going to explode. And it feels that way every time. And so it should.

NekNomination 2

Okay so I did it, last night after a grueling match of squash (and I had my arse handed to me), I did my NekNomination video.

No I will not be sharing it with you, because yes, it was lame. I shared it on FB, thanked the person that nominated me, nominated 2 more people, left it overnight, and this morning I hid it from my timeline.

All I did was drink a Savanna Light (downed it, very slowly), threw a squash ball into the air and hit it really hard against the front wall and nominated the next two victims. It was fun, for a whole 26 seconds.

The end.

NekNomination 1

Okay so I have been “NekNominated”, and I have been dreading this moment for weeks now. And last night a cutey that I met on Koh Phi Phi that lives in Holland decided to nominate me. This is what I woke up to. Kill. Me. Now.


Whilst I have not really been following any of the whole NekNomination thing that has been going viral throughout the globe nor taken any interest to it, I also feel that being a party pooper is not on, so yes I have decided I shall be taking part in it, this evening, sorry people. It’s like the Harlem Shake, which was also a load of nonsense, and fun. I took part in that too.

I have yet to Twerk, that’ll be the day.

Less was more in 2012

This year has been great, the great part is that it is ending soon. Even though it wasn’t that bad of a year. 

January – came back to work after a phenomenal holiday at Umngazi River Bungalows, was happy at work and where I was at in my life. Fell in love with Jo’burg and started meeting new people.. I found the balance. Or so I thought I did.

February – I bought myself stacks of lingerie for Valentines. Yes please!

March – discovered how disgusting the interwebs can be and quit the Twits (and other social media platforms) for 7 days. Read more about that here.

April – seriously contemplated moving overseas for a year or two and then was convinced otherwise. Career kids! It’s all apparently about your career. April was also a highlight for me in terms that I was indirectly called a ‘slut’ by one of my good friend’s boyfriends. Yip, you read that correctly. I actually have a good giggle when I think back to this, because it clearly shows that he doesn’t know me at all, however they are still my friends nonetheless – we forgive people. Oh and my car radio was stolen in April. Bastards.

May – work & Kenton on Sea with the folks. I may have had a crush on someone this month. Whatever.

June – who could possibly forget the month that I wrote my Citi Golf the ‘Blue Beauty’ off? *Le sigh* Or the kisses that followed right after the accident!! 😉 This is where it all turned around! Car accident = new car, love my little Renault Clio (Red Rhino)! I also started going back to gym this month, with the notion that I was going to enter the 94.7 cycle challenge! About a week after mentioning this to my cycling Dad 🙂 he entered the two of us into the race! Never would I have imagined being in tears on a highway 5 months later!

July – was a busy month, 4th July I BOOKED MY CONTIKI TOUR TO THAILAND (shouty capitals necessary) 12th July Posed in front of a Billboard during 5pm rush hour traffic with my bestie Kools in an attempt to win tickets to Oppi Koppi (in hindsight I realise now that my pampered little behind would not have enjoyed scraping my bits in the bush with rough leaves nor would my feet have endured all those thorns!) 18th July I was interviewed by Donna Rachelson to feature in one of her upcoming books, I then also found out later in the year (December) that part of my interview was aired in front of over 100 General Managers as well as all the Directors of my company at their annual conference! Stick with me, I’ll make you famous 😉 23rd July – 702 WALK THE TALK, and me being as stubborn as I am I decided to do it with terrible bronchitis and nearly landed myself up in hospital. Ya ya. I look after myself now. Danielle also decided to leave me for Ghana this month. It still hurts but I forgive her. Haha.

August – got mother faced at my Birthday Party because someone bought me a Flaming Lamborghini! I didn’t even finish my 2nd glass of wine or my pasta! Next year I will be classy & have a tea party ;), you’re all invited! Hehe. I also went to Pinkie Fest, which started off crap but I ended up jolling with the awesomeness that is known as Dono White and had an amazing time!

September2nd Sept Zwartkoppies Race Track annual Bed Race. I ran last year, and not a f*ck was I going to push that bed again this year… Instead I ran like a turkey all along the race track snapping photos of my TEAM… so I ran it anyways. Haha. 4th – 7th Sept Revenue 201 course in CT (I went, I passed, I got homesick) let’s just be serious, CT is pretty but Jo’burg is my true love. 21st Sept Kings & Queens of Comedy with Sarah… lolling back to that night. 22nd Sept my poor attempt to go party at Wild Waters (Spring Fiesta), I sat for a full 45 minutes outside the front entrance before I all but ran screaming back to the North, Parkhurst & a hottie calmed my nerves ;)! 24th Sept well… that’s all smiles and so was the rest of the month.

October – Daniele returned back from Ghana on the 5th Oct, we collected our Nike RunJozi packs from Rosebank then hit Bloc Party that night like Northern hookers in Newtown (not really but I wanted to say something funny). At the time I remember this was possibly the worst moment of my life, we couldn’t get within 5 meters of the bar, I was wearing sandals at a fecking concert, people were standing on my feet, Sar’s was being threatened by Die Antwoord worshipers, I was being hit on by lesbians, some chick even elbowed my left breast and then Bloc Party came on stage 🙂 *happiness* I also remember being middle spoon that night between Sar’s & Danielle. 😉 how unforgettable. 7th Oct I did the Nike RunJozi 10km with Danielle, and I have been in love with running ever since. We did it in 1hr35mins, and both of us had never trained for it. 12th – 14th Oct #GirlsDurbsRoadTrip went down with Danielle, if you followed us on Twitter over that weekend you would know how much fun we had. Enough said. 21st Sept Shadow Club unplugged live at The Venue in Melrose, awesomeness!

November – all in all it was a great month, I did the Soweto 10km on the 4th Nov and achieved a better time of 1hr14mins. On the 18th Nov with my Dad I completed the 94.7 cycle challenge in 5hrs5mins, one of the most challenging things I have ever done. Never before has my body hurt so much, but I did it. Not once did I push my bike up a hill and after all the pain & exhaustion subsided I have decided that I will do it next year again. 30th Nov LADY GAGA *little monsters*!!!

December – well with much of the month still left to come, so far I can say it has been ok. This year was the 1st year in 5 that I have not spent my Ouma’s BDay with her which was a bit upsetting. Soon soon I will be off to Umngazi River Bungalows for a much needed break.

My article title was less was more in 2012, but looking back at the last 12 months I can say I have had an amazing year and I did more than I thought. Whilst I still do enjoy my work thoroughly I have realised that there is so much more to life, people & being healthy are what matter, and this year I have been privileged to be around some amazing people. I would love to mention you all but I am sure you know who you are, to a few special people that contributed to my growth as well as making my year a great one…

Sarah – we haven’t spent a lot of time together this year but the moments that we did, the long Whatsapp convos & telephone calls. They’ve been awesome, I can’t wait for 2013!

Danielle – I can honestly say that you have been a strong pillar of friendship for me this year; our email that we sent whilst you were in Ghana is 46 pages long on word and 15 email threads long. But it doesn’t stop there, we have had some great times together and I am sure we will have many more! Perhaps in the New Year I will change a few names and words on that email and turn it into a short story 😉 I quote…

“Dearest Danielle, Please accept my sincerest apologies for the delay in you not receiving this email, I see now how I have been so selfish this past week in not allowing you tearful moments of laughter, herewith follows my much anticipated he-mail.”

At this stage I am actually considering printing the email out, heading to the beach with a bottle of wine this holiday and sending it out into the ocean after reading it! 🙂

Khulile – you remain forever a true friend and I love you dearly. I do think that you were sent into my life to teach me how to be more patient, how to love & how to enjoy a great cup of coffee. Thank you for listening to me when I needed it most. PS. I am prepared to pose nude in front of a billboard to win tickets to Oppi Koppi next year (at 00:00) with only a flashlight & no audience. Even if we don’t win again, I will at least know that we had a blast trying!

B – The last 3 months of my year have been absolutely amazing, your company has been enjoyed, the times spent together have been fun and I believe people do not cross your path without reason. You have challenged me to question things, to keep fit, to read more articles, love more kinds of music, made me want to go out more to discover different places (especially in Jozi), cherish my friends and inspired me to travel overseas a lot more. Above all you have made me realise not to take life too seriously. 🙂 xx

2013 – I will seize every possible opportunity that comes my way.


My 7 Days Off Line

15th March – Day 1

Wake up in Dullstroom, check time, open Twitter app on my phone, curse myself – luckily I had logged out the night before so I don’t get tempted to check my TL.

Go for breakfast at Charlie C’s, I really want to check in on Foursquare. Lady that owns Charlie C’s asks me for Red Velvet Cupcake Recipe… I shared it and promise to return for tea.

I take pictures of Charlie C’s – no sharing… except with someone via Whatsapp… kind of cheated there, even though it’s someone I can chat to on Whatsapp I wasn’t supposed to snap away with my phone. My Mom says she’s got her eye on me.

Throughout the morning all I want to do is Tweet, so many things come to mind that I want to say and share, but alas I stay strong and refrain. Serious withdrawal at this stage.

BBM a preferred… Mom questions if I’m allowed to do that every time I even touch my phone… I want to Tweet how annoying this is, but obviously can’t 😉

Go for lunch at Pickle’s & Things – I used to work here during school holidays, damn the place has gone backwards! Menu has changed; not many great options & is badly designed, decor is lacking something and the four extremely young and playful little creatures that they have as waiters are running around giggling (we’re the only table inside), the food was good anyway. My Mom keeps mentioning that she wants to download Foursquare so that she can leave a tip at the place so people know how bad it is… not helping matters at all.

We go back to the Guest House (Fox’s Hill) to chill a bit; all I want to do is log on and see what is going on, but instead I pass out on the couch.

That night went to Mrs. Simpson’s for dinner, owned by Bryan & Steven – this couple are the best ever and own the best restaurant in town, their gorgeous kitty Wallis sits on my lap for most of the night whilst a table of 3 Swedish guys stare at me in shock. LOL – I want to Tweet, but what the hell my phone is in my bag and I don’t care 🙂

Later that night when I got back to my room I cheated on BBM, a lady I work with sent me a message; I read it and replied a few times.

And I had emailed my Aunt the night before to say Happy Birthday so did not end up going onto Facebook 🙂

Someone even sent me a message and tried to taunt me by saying there was huge gossip going down on Twitter; I didn’t budge.

16th March – Day 2

Kind of over everything at this point, I have literally forgotten about Social Media.

It’s the last day in Dullies 😦 but I am definitely ready to get back to Jozi!

Of course the drive back to Jozi was a little annoying, all I wanted to do was log in and chat to people; but still didn’t.

13:06 I receive a message from a BBM contact; when I did eventually read it today (22nd March) it is a broadcast message and I get pissed off.

14:26 a message comes through on BBM from someone about a very close friend of mine’s husband, later that afternoon I find out her husband passed away earlier that morning. I am absolutely devastated, I had made my status on BBM on the 1st Day “7 Days Off Line” and was not meant to change it, however I change it in support of my friend and leave it for the rest of the week.

For the rest of the evening I just enjoyed my time with my parents.

17th March – Day 3

Send a Happy Birthday message on BBM to my friend, still no Twitter, Facebook or Foursquare; I was coping quite well by now.

However, I must admit I was starting to miss a few of the people that I chatted to on a regular basis on Twitter.

Had a fabulous last day with my Mom & Dad, I don’t even think I was thinking about logging into anything.

18th March – Day 4

A bit of the blues 😦 hate it when my parents leave as I never know how soon I will be seeing them again.

As lonely as I was feeling still didn’t cave 🙂 I was quite proud of myself.

Made a rustic lunch, settled outside with a cushion and throw with my CharlieC and wait for it… I even got to read an entire Cosmopolitan from cover to cover! I enter the Contiki Thailand competition at least 15 times! It. Felt. Amazing to just relax.

19th March – Day 5

Back. At. Work… thank goodness for no distractions because I hit the floor and my emails running!

Of course I cheat again on BBM and send my girl Liza Sutherland a Happy Birthday message, by this stage I figured that it was okay to send BBM messages to one or two people. I had cut down a lot compared to a normal day.

20th March – Day 6

Again, nothing – I miss nothing 🙂

Except when I get to Liza’s Bday where everyone from the usual Twitter crowd is! It was so awesome to see and catch up with all the ladies, I had missed them so much and we had such a great night partying and celebrating that night – awesome party Liza 🙂

21st March – Day 7

OUCH my head *face palm* – this is why I do not drink to get drunk any more. I think I am giving up drinking next… indefinitely.

No Twitter on a boring Public Holiday – big mistake! Also my last day 🙂 woo hoo!!

Luckily I went into work that day, caught up on some much needed sleep and then caught a movie later 🙂 It was awesome!!

Synopsis –

It felt fantastic to not be constantly ‘ruled’ by the need to respond to messages and share with everyone however I missed the daily interaction with some very special people I have made friends with on line, a lot.

The time I had for myself was awesome!

My battery actually lasted for at least 2 days at a time, and not 2 hours!

During the time I spent not talking to ‘Social Media Friends’ I spent time thinking and talking to old friends via SMS and BBM – it was especially great to talk to my friend Tammy.

I didn’t have to hit my breaks every two minutes in traffic… I will definitely not be messing around with my phone whilst driving unless in absolute stop dead rush hour traffic anymore – so not worth it.

The hotties in traffic are hot… but clearly a lot hotter when I don’t stare at them for long because I am too busy Tweeting about them to realise how not so hot they actually they really aren’t 😉

This morning I logged onto everything, eventually at 10am I started getting so annoyed with the notifications I logged off again.

I shall definitely from now onwards try ‘limit’ the amount of time I spend across all these platforms I cut out of my life for the last 7 days.

It was a great break, and can say I didn’t miss any of the negative, fake, crass and unfriendly crap that goes moves across my TL and in future will just be unfollowing/blocking these people.

To those that supported me this last week, carried on following me and welcomed me back with open arms today – thank you, you are all absolute rock stars!

From me – that’s a wrap 🙂

7 Days Off Line

So after much thought on the matter and the motivation from @matthewsavides – read more about that here @ what point do you shut down?.

I have too decided to do the #7DaysOffline challenge (yes for me it is actually a challenge).

I need to have a break from it all, Twitter, Facebook, Hootsuite, My Blog :(, Foursquare, Emails, BBM, Whatsapp and my newest love Pinterest! The internet and information ‘overload’ is just getting too much, that and the fact that I am trying to get a break from all the negativity and unhappiness on certain platforms.

I was going to do it from Sunday last week (11th March) as my parents are up visiting and I wanted to spend all my time with them… Then I thought I should do it during a normal work week so that I could actually note the difference during this ‘normal’ week without all of the above. Anyway, I have now decided that I need to start tonight (14th March), which will include the time while my parents so I can enjoy my time with them and I will go until midnight on the 21st March, which includes work and normal daily activities as well – I shall only observe the traffic hotties and will have to drink wine alone 😉

As Matthew said, often we are so busy checking in on Foursquare, Tweeting/ Facebooking and Blogging about it we don’t actually cherish the moment in front of us anymore.

What I absolutely love about Social Media is the sharing with all the people you don’t know that share similar interests and feelings about what you are saying; and as most would know I am absolutely addicted to sharing. So this is going to be difficult.

The Rules:

No Twitter – none whatsoever, I will log off my account on my Twitter application on my phone tonight. No scrolling through my TL, DMing, Tweeting… nothing.

Difficult One !

No Facebook – again same as the above, absolutely no activity whatsoever, BUT – as it is my Aunt in Zimbabwe’s 60th Birthday on the 15th March I may log in, send her a message, NOT check any notifications or my TL and log right back off again. Family first.

Not so bad...

Hootsuite – No scheduled messages at all.

Hoot Hoot

No Blogging – I may not post anything on my Blog until this is over… not even a Sexy Kiss of the Day :(, as I have all the kisses on my Laptop I will just save them and post them all next week at once 🙂

Hmmm I love kissing, I’m getting distracted…

Goodbye till next week 😦

No Foursquare – I will log off the application and not check in anywhere, which really really sucks because I wanted to check into Charlie C’s in Dullstroom :(, I love you Charlie Chaplin.

Love this place!

BBM – now this is slightly difficult, well I only have 68 contacts and if I even chat to 8 of them on a regular basis it is a lot. I will chat to my parents – Family first, Ceri Grenfell as it is your Birthday I will chat to you on the 17th March :), Tammy D – she’s my bestie, no blocking her out ever, Elismha – you make me smile so I’m keeping you ;). And since I am sure I will need to vent about this whole thing; Matthew, you have indeed made the list because you will know what I am going through and may need to encourage me to keep going 😉 As for the rest, I will not even open your message, sorry in advance! Oh and no changing of my status and profile picture!

Not sad about this one at all

Whatsapp – Mike, you’ve made the cut 😉 haha. And my cousin Clarence has made the list too.

Pinterest – No browsing at all! All those pretty and funny pictures… missed! And I have recently introduced my mom to it so she better not show me anything… wait does it count if she logs in, browses and shows me things?

My newest 'lover'

Emails – I am logging off of Gmail & Yahoo as they are the only 2 connected to my Social Media networks. Vodamail & work emails will be allowed.


And as I am always to happy to snap away from my Smartphone camera I am going old school and I will carry my small camera around and take pictures ‘the old school’ way 😉

As Matthew did, I will take notes of how I coped along the way… not all the time as that defies the point of getting a break. I will share it with you all on my Blog here next week 🙂

Wish me luck with my #7DaysOffline stint!

Respect for Human Dignity

It’s been quite awhile since I have really done something worth reading on my blog… Not saying this is going to be either but it’s been building up to a point where I just have to say something to let it out.

I have noticed in the last two weeks or so how we people talk down more and more about each other and sometimes to each other. It really is in fact more on the about each other side though, and I am sure it has been going on for more than the last two weeks.

Twitter is one of the biggest areas where it really sticks out for me; we so easily say nasty things about each other via something called ‘subtweeting’ this means directly referring to a particular person without mentioning their name or directly mentioning them. I myself am guilty of doing this sometimes, but there are people that do this on a regular basis and most of the time the things that they say you can easily pick up who and what they are talking about.

I have had two guys ‘subtweet’ about me in the last 2 weeks that I actually managed to pick up, one was aimed at a spelling error I had in my work title and the other about a spelling/grammar error I had made from a copy and paste message I had posted on Twitter without checking it first before posting.

Instead of sending a message directly to me and correcting me they decided to (indirectly) humiliate me on a public platform.

There also seems to be a huge problem with people attacking each other and various brands that slip up from time to time via Twitter. I think it is really distasteful and indecent. To me there is a massive difference between bringing something to everyone’s attention and maliciously trying to make something or someone look bad.

I also find that when something bad is said people tend to immediately attack back instead of asking the person responsible for doing/saying something what exactly happened to cause them to say something bad about their product or about them. We try to claw back at each other, if that makes sense?

Anyway, what I really trying to get at here is, when did ‘the masses’ turn so nasty towards their own? Sure – there has always been the few out of the norm people that act badly and do bad things but if the rest of us start following these examples then what disaster are we headed towards?

I have made a conscious decision to try stop saying nasty things about people, I am going to really try keep my indecent comments to myself instead of belittling the people around me as it only reflects badly about me at the end of the day.

So to the cream Mini Cooper driving Sandton Mommy that gets road rage at me in front of your kid, I am sorry I called you a Tramp. To the specific liqueur brand that I had something to say about earlier this week, unfortunately I do not apologise because circumstance would have it that what I said was true, however how I said it I do apologise for; matters could have been dealt with in a better way. And to the little guest house that cancelled my parent’s accommodation this coming Tuesday in Jozi and has left them to find a new place to stay when they come visit me – you are safe, well on Twitter you are 😉

One of the principles in my Company is “Respect for Human Dignity” – this to me is not only how we treat people but also how we talk about people and ourselves.

Friendships & Relationships in the New World

I sit here asking myself, where to start on this one? I really do not know if I should make this personal because of a recent occurence or just a general article.

Seems people easily get sucked into a world of romance and friendship through social media platforms these days (myself included).

How can you not ignore the various ways there are to connect with people out there?

Now don’t get me wrong at all, I have made some amazing friends through twitter over the last 3-4 months or so, but how many of those friends are real? These people who I talk to on a daily basis and share my life with, can disappear tomorrow.

‘Share my life with’ – let me elaborate on this one, because there are people that are out there that take issue with the amount of times I tweet per day, what I tweet and what I share about myself on my blog. I tweet general crap that happens to me during the day, do I expect a response to anything that I say? No, of course not… are all those messages I click send, about my entire existence and completely about who I am? No. Now I am not saying behind it all I am in person completely different on another level and you wouldn’t know who I am if you had to meet me in person compared to the person I am on twitter/my blog. I believe that who you portray yourself to be throughout all areas in your life should be the person you are and want to be both in cyberspace and in person. I have nothing to hide about myself; sure there are moments when I say and do things that I am not proud of – but hey I am also human right? And we do sometimes make mistakes; which I hope I can take something away and learn about it so that I do not repeat the mistakes.

What I have to say is if you do not like what I have to say… and you don’t always have to, because A. I am not holding a gun to your head and B. Not everybody out there needs to like what I have to say because we’re all different – then just don’t follow me/befriend me.

A couple of months ago I learnt the hard way about how close you can allow someone to you when you do not know them well; I found myself in the very same situation a month later… It was literally like I had learnt nothing from the previous time.

Men and women do not get to know each other anymore – they allow themselves to get involved though cellphones/emails/twitter/blogs/facebook etc. and not via face to face contact. Do people even go on dates anymore? Do guys still ask girls for their numbers? I have his twitter account name/bbm pin/email address etc. but what about the phone number? How about you invite me for some coffee or a movie before you invite me to your house? Even if you do not intend on taking me to your bed when I visit it’d just be so much more tasteful if you try get to know me.

Today I share the following 5 points with you:

1. There is so much more to a person than what they have to share about themselves on cyberspace; that is just a fraction of their total existence. Get to know the people around you.

2. If you do not like the person that you have chatted to/met then do not allow it to go on, this just creates a false sense of hope and someone always gets disappointed in the end.

Which brings me to my next point –

3. Not every person you meet in your life in person/on twitter etc. is supposed to be the love of your life, best friend or maker of your future children. Stop thinking like that.

4. Not everything is personal, so stop taking it personally.

Now this is the important one so read it carefully –

5. Decide what you want to take into your life and leave the rest out because there is so much information junk out there and you will just end up polluting yourself and your beautiful mind. Decide who you want to make friends with and who you choose to spend your time with, because you are what you put in and who you choose to surround yourself with.

I am indeed no philosopher and the above might even be a load of nonsense, but if you took the time to read this article and at least took something small out of it that’s great – in fact I have fallen prey to all of the above, and maybe I will still make a few bad decisions that may take me down the same road a few times again but at least I will be more aware of it and perhaps even deal with the situation differently the next time around.

I love the saying – “No man is an island, entire of itself” Translated – Human beings do not thrive when being isolated from others. Which I think is relevant to what I had to say in this article because we need people; relationships are what keep us going, we just need to choose how we handle them and how we talk to each other.

I am an island... explore me!

Enjoy life and do not take it too seriously, the only time you may need to take it seriously is when you are face to face with a lion because then you may be in some serious shit right there… oh and it may already be too late; perhaps you’ll have a few seconds to get a tweet in before you start running for your life 😉

You should start running right about now...

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