I’ve decided that I am going to be selfish and start concentrating on myself. What I want, what I need, what I feel and the type of people that I should be surrounding myself with. I need to figure out my own direction in life, focusing on my interests, and what makes me happy. I can’t live off what I think I need, especially if I’m going to look for it from other people or try find it from my job.
I need a sense of my own self-satisfaction. I need to be more confident in the person that I am. I love reading, I love music, I love going to the movies, I love exploring, I love learning new things, I love people and I love my family.
Here is the big one, I’m not going to freak out over men, not worry every second about not having one, nor am I going to read into everything they say or do. I do not a need a boyfriend to define me. I just need me. I am the person who I want to be at this point in my life. I need to stop worrying about what others’ might be thinking of me. People notice me a lot less than I think, which also scares me because I worry about being invisible and irrelevant, I love being noticed for the positive. I also need to realize that it is okay to not always be happy and to allow the tears to roll when they need to.
Life doesn’t always turn out exactly how you plan it, but that is okay. Things change all the time. Jobs change, careers change, people change and I am constantly changing. It’s called life. A man won’t like me just because I want him to, nor will someone who is just looking for an easy hookup miraculously want a girlfriend, especially in such a scenario.
While I’m still trying to figure out what will help to fill the void that I have been feeling for the last couple of months, I am going to try relax more and do the things that bring me pleasure while making sure I become a well adjusted adult, this includes with starting by ticking things off my Bucket List. Patience…, something I am not gifted with, that’s all I need.