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Life & Other Things

Review: The Counselor

Okay so this is a first, and I am by no means a professional at reviewing anything so this need not be taken seriously.

I recently went to watch “The Counselor”, my first attraction to the movie was… Cameron Diaz and the rest of the well know cast (Michael Fassbender, Brad Pitt, Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem) Javier, yum. And a very well laid out movie preview of Cameron, looking sexy (in most scenes), some flashy cars and jewelry and of course the story line which is about a drug deal that inevitably goes bad.

In the opening scene, Michael and Penélope talk dirty to each other between the sheets. It’s erotic, really… if you’re not thinking about the awkwardness of the squirming couple seated next to, or behind you. And you’re most likely to be squirming yourself too…

Michael plays the main role; no one calls him anything except “Counselor” throughout the movie. He signs on to expedite the importing of cocaine from Colombia to Chicago in a septic-tank truck. Something he knows nothing about.

The Counselor is soon in over his head in this deal. Westray, a middleman played by a bemused Brad Pitt, sets him straight: “You think you can live in this world and not be a part of it?” Guess not. When the deal goes bad, a panicked Counselor turns to the deal fixer Reiner (Javier) to save him from cartel’s vengeance. But Reiner has his own problems… His crazy chick, Malkina (Cameron).

Reiner recounts a long, descriptive story  to the “Counselor” about how Malkina “who once fucked his Ferrari”. Then the film shows her doing it… “It was too gynecological to be sexy,” says Reiner.

Cameron

This is not too far from the truth either. I was repulsed, it’s really not erotic at all.

The rest of the movie loads on beatings, killings and horrific decapitations punctuated by conversations about morality.

I have heard that there are a lot of people that have actually enjoyed the movie, personally I didn’t. I would rate it a 4/10, if even.

The Counselor

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